Working Out the Kinks (Chain) Page 14
“What’s going on, babe?”
I swallow hard and in a soft voice, ask, “Do you still love me, Levi?” Fear rips through me as the words tumble past my lips and then spikes when he doesn’t answer me immediately.
But then, his face softens. “Of course I do. Why would you ask me that?”
“Are you happy…with me, I mean…with our relationship?”
I feel ill.
“Yes, I’m happy. Aren’t you?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“I feel a but coming.” He smiles at me. I don’t smile back.
“I feel like I’m not sexy to you anymore.”
A flash of surprise registers on his face. Levi pushes his laptop aside and sighs. “Ahh. This is about last night.”
“Yes and no. I miss you.” I whisper the words. “I miss our connection. The spark of lust in your eyes when you look at me.” I take a deep breath, not wanting to blurt out the next sentence, but I know it has to be done. “I know I’ve gained some weight over the years. Are you not attracted to me anymore?” His eyebrows pop up and genuine dismay shapes his features. Again he takes a few seconds before he speaks.
“We’ve been married a long time, Mia. I think it’s pretty normal for things to get…” He trails off, obviously smart enough to not finish the sentence.
Hot tears of humiliation begin to drop freely now because I still have the one last unasked question. It is the one weighing most heavily on my mind. “I don’t feel it from you, and I can’t figure out why you rarely make love to me anymore. And now when you do, it’s not good for you. Are you seeing somebody else?”
I hold my breath. This, by far, is the worst moment of my married life. I honestly think I’m not going to get an answer I can live with.
“Oh God, Mia, no! I’m not seeing anybody else.” He pauses and looks away from me. “Jeez.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry things between us have been so bad you’re asking me that question.” He rubs a hand over his face. “This space that’s grown between us isn’t because I don’t love you or find you sexy. Mia.” He pushes his chair away from the table and pats his lap. “Come here.”
My steps are hesitant, as I walk the few feet between us. I ease myself onto his lap, trying to make myself small, and snuggle into him. The solid wall of his chest rests directly under my ear and I can’t help the sigh of contentment that escapes me. He takes my chin and lifts it so our eyes meet. “You’re it for me, babe. The love of my life,” he says, gathering me even closer.
“You didn’t come last night,” I whisper.
“That didn’t have anything to do with you. I was distracted. I was afraid the girls could hear us, and as soon as that thought crossed my mind, it was over for me.” He catches my tears with the side of his finger. “Please don’t cry. There’s nothing wrong with our marriage we can’t fix.” He pulls me in closer. “Tell me what you need, babe. And I’ll do it.”
I look away, forcing him to let go of my chin and burrow into the hard wall of his chest again. His crisp white dress shirt is already stained from my eye makeup. “I don’t want to have to tell you how to love me. I just want you to want me. I want our sex life back. I want to feel special to you. I don’t want to just know I’m loved I want to feel it.”
“Babe, I want all those things, too. It’s hard with kids. When they were little, they needed you too much. Now they’re older and know too much. The girls are thirteen–old enough to know what they’re hearing coming from our bedroom. It’s a mind fuck I have problems dealing with sometimes.”
He shakes his head and draws in a long breath. “Okay, I don’t have any appointments scheduled on Friday afternoon. Come straight home from work. We’ll have the house to ourselves.” He smiles at me and kisses my temple. “We’ll take it from there, okay?”
Later that night, I lie awake in bed and look over at the man sleeping next to me. I look at him, and I realize there isn’t any passion boiling hot under my skin either. The exhausting daily grind has taken its toll on me, too.
Levi is a good life partner. He works hard for our family and is a good father to the girls. I’m aware some women would do anything for the life I live and would judge me for focusing on what I don’t have instead of what I do.
I do appreciate him, and I don’t take him for granted, I assure myself.
I feel better, like a weight has been lifted.
For the rest of the week, I think about our upcoming date ten times a day.
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Friday Afternoon by Sylvia Ryan
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Table of Contents
Cover Copy
Highlight
Working Out the Kinks
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Epilogue
About Kara Winters
Copyright
Sample - Friday Afternoon by Sylvia Ryan
Find Your Hero